I was watching civil war and I could again relate with TONY STARK, man only wanted to do good but things don't always go according to the plan, do they? This man was always the villain in someone's story and if we take a closer look his character is all flawed just like you and me and fellas that's what makes him even more relatable.
I think most of the time, we try to be good. We try to be our best selves and try to go through with our life without hurting anyone or touching too many people. I had such instances But the truth — the hard truth is that we are all bad in someone’s story
How can that be? you say I’m not bad. I try my hardest, I do what I can for other people… Regardless of how much we do to help others, be there for others, and take care of them, we do leave other impressions. The things that we do in a split second can leave a positive impression or a negative one. For example, there would have been times when we chose personal growth over a bond or a relationship, were not there any instances where you gave yourself a priority and put yourself forward?? and I bet that action of yours did end up hurting a lot of people close to you.
To be very honest we have very little say in the roles we will play in the lives of people around us irrespective of how close people are our truth will be processed differently by each person we encounter, it will be filtered through their entire history and orientation to create a new version of you. For every person we have come into contact with, there is a whole new other you, another whole truth of who “you” are and you do not have control over it in the story of others.
The only truth we have control over is our own.
And yet… we could be the villain. And lemme tell you it isn’t our story to change, it is their perspective, whether we agree or resonate with it or not. Our perspectives are our truths, whether externally confirmed or not. Sometimes stories overlap. Sometimes they are distant.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sometimes how we are reflected by others touches upon truth. That we have been cast as a villain in another’s story requires attention. Perhaps there is a wrong that we have done. Perhaps repair is in order. Perhaps not. Impact sometimes matters more than intention and sometimes we end up doing things anyway
So while in another’s story even the one in which we are the villain it is not our story to change or adopt.
But the key here is not to reject others’ stories if they do not line up with our own, but to recognize and leave be their truths as equally real as our own, while still maintaining the connection to what we rationally know is our whole truth, not a “version”, but the whole truth.
This is an invitation and an uncomfortable one into a surrender of control, a surrender of universal likability. if we demand someone to rewrite their story, we can violate their principles and beliefs, just as someone twisting how they appear in yours is just as manipulative. Sometimes trying to convince them otherwise requires a humongous amount of energy, at cost of our inner integrity.
This is also a sign to leave it to something beyond us, to see ourselves past our own stories, and to value the experiences and realities of others while staying grounded in our own soul’s knowing. Let go and Be the villain.
when we try to manage our roles in the lives of others we truly surrender ourselves as infinite images not contained by our will, would we be able to come into an agreement with ourselves?
I mean when we uncouple our worth from the stories of others and accept what we are, when we witness our fullness, our chaos, our brilliance, with deep adoration. when we honor all these expressions of ourselves without passing judgment on them, and while seeing ourselves in the light of our own highest truth.
If you ask me this is freedom, this is acceptance, this is embracing all that we are.
I know thinking too deeply about something like this could trigger a response such as anger but It is important to remember that the things that bug us or bother us or make us angry are also the experiences from which we grow the most. Anger is not an emotion that we embrace. It is more looked at as a flaw rather than an emotion. Of course, sometimes we release our anger in an unhealthy way, which is bad for all of us. But if you allow it to fuel your desire and actions towards change in some way, it can be a very valuable emotion to connect with.
Lastly, remember, we are always bad in someone’s story. As long as we make a conscious effort to not hurt or make anyone feel bad intentionally we should be fine.
At the end of the day, it is their story, their life and this should not let you shy away from making yourself, your growth your peace a priority. If It is anything apologize, for what may have happened, but you have to let go quickly. As we age, certain things have less meaning. We remember them as part of our past, but they just don’t matter as much. If there is something that you feel sorry about, make amends. It is never too late if you mean it. The worst thing that can happen is that the person wont accept, and it could pain you but you have no control over that. You only have power over your own life, so make the decisions that sit the best with your soul.